Do you know an Alcoholic?

I know several. I suspect it is very common. Around here we have long winters and a lot of isolation, which tends to drive people towards alcohol. We also have a reservation with a Native American population. Alcohol seems to be particularly problematic for them. I also have friends that live on Beaver Island and Mackinac Island; both of which are frozen-in during the winter with limited transportation to the outside world. That's a sure ticket to alcohol problems.

Tom

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(ZenCruiser @ Apr 25 2007, 04:14 PM) [snapback]430070[/snapback]</div>

I made my peace, or at least thought I did, before my Dad passed away. I had the opportunity to tell him that I knew he did the best that he could; he knew that I was not happy with him, and while he never said it to me directly, I knew he was not happy with me. While not terrible, his best still was not good. Personally, I may never get over the anger. It is just very frustrating, and I have to remind myself of the good that I do have in my life and the fact that I have done my best not to emulate the bad behaviors I learned from my parents.

The trouble is these things do get handed down from generation to generation. Until someone, somewhere wakes up and realizes that their behavior and the behavior of their parents is not "quite right," and makes a conscious decision to change, things keep getting handed down because the people involved do not know any better. IMHO, that is the origin of "doing the best that you can" in this kind of situation. If you don't know any better, how can you do better than what you know? It is sort of like having a book that is missing a chapter.

All the best,
Matthew

 

My dad had one double martini every evening of his adult life, shortly before supper. Never more, never less. But I had no real relationship with him because of my psychotic step-mother, who made that house unbearable.

My alcoholic first step-father was a wonderful man when sober, but was a mean drunk. I loved him because I never saw him drunk until after my mom divorced him (for hitting her in an argument over the loudness of the record player after my sister and I were in bed. It only ever happened once because my mother was not about to stay with a man who would hit her.)

My second step-father was alcoholic also, but he was so jolly when drunk, and so kind and gentle drunk or sober, that we never recognized that he was alcoholic until his drinking led to obesity and eventually an early death of heart attack. It was the jolly drunk who permitted me to drink hard liquor as a teen-ager (probably around 12 or 14). I was hooked on it immediately.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(bshef @ Apr 25 2007, 10:28 AM) [snapback]429915[/snapback]</div>

This is good advice in dealing with authorities, regardless of your station in life, whether you are a kid or an adult.

As an adult, the clearest formula is "I choose to remain silent. I want to see a lawyer." Then zip the lips. The authority figure (cop or school employee) will say things like, "If you've got nothing to hide, you'll let me search," or "This is just routine, it doesn't really mean anything," or "I'm trying to be your friend," or "It'll go worse for you if you don't permit a search." It's all lies.

Remaining calm and polite is the hardest, but the most important thing. It's why people who have not learned to control their anger or their mouth are the most likely to wind up in jail.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Wiyosaya @ Apr 25 2007, 10:40 AM) [snapback]429933[/snapback]</div>

Because we're not allowed to groom each other.

To Squid's question: I think alcohol does more damage than cocaine, and the law should recognize that fact. And alcohol does a million times more damage than pot. But as long as alcohol (and tobacco) are the drugs of choice of politicians, they'll always be legal.