How do you deal with the loss of a pet?

I feel for you, I had a kitty get stuck in the engine fan on my ex-wifes car 10 years ago, I ended up having to shoot it. as it was really suffering and bleeding so badly (sorry for being to graphic). :mellow:
I felt so bad afterwards, We had a cpl of days of mourning then we went to the local shelter and got a house broken dog. And have had Dogs ever since, I have had to bury 3 dogs since. They truely do LOVE unconditionally..

Our dogs: 1 mini-daushaund , 1 tweenie-daushaund (I know, not spelled correctly) 1 boxer & 1 german sheperd dog. These are our kids... We chose to have dogs instead of children, (like my uncle in Richmand Va) due to the downward curve of our society is in today. It just seems the better choice, ...

Again Im sorry for the loss of your pet/companion..


Jr

 

I got to get the unhappy phone call a few weeks ago that my dad's quaker died. Wonderful. that was his baby, and while the bird started off being mine, he was really bonded to my dad, so I let him go with my dad. Arthur might have hated me but he really warmed up to me and had just learned to say my name... my dad said he couldn't stop talking about me.

I cried a lot. Nothing can fix the pain of loosing a loved pet, but with time it does get easier to cope with the loss. Having people to lean on helps too.

 

Livelychick, I am SO sorry for your loss.

I am pretty much unqualified to advise on this...but when has that ever stopped me?

We had family cats (never MY pets) until I was about 10, when the family doc informed the family that I kept getting very sick because I was allergic to them...at the time, I seem to recall we had THREE cats. My older sister suggested getting rid of me instead--she later acquired way worse animal allergies than mine (what goes around comes around). After my older sister and I left home, my parents adopted a couple of pound dogs--rendering their home inhospitable for my sister and me...try not to think about THAT one too much!

I spent many years petless because I believed I couldn't have one due to my allergies. Finally, due to a whole host of reasons, I found I NEEDED one, hence the little guy you see in my avatar. I researched and discovered that poodles, among a few others, are hypoallergenic. Doglet (not his actual name, but so called because he is "almost a dog") turned 11 on March 6 (we brought him home when he was about 9 weeks old--he then fit in DH's bathrobe pocket, and he now weighs no more than 7 pounds soaking wet...yes, I regret we could not "rescue" a dog--due to the difficulties of finding a hypoallergenic one--although I have since found out about ways to do that--thank you Google...but take comfort that we got him from an honest breeder and not from a puppy mill). I fret and worry about his mortality, even as I rejoice in his presence in my life. My hypoallergenic dog has allergies, and takes close to as many antihistamines as I do. And still gets very ill with breathing problems WAY more than I do. Which is heartbreaking--watching him in pain about which I can do nothing. Just as one watches a sick child.

Doglet is my best friend--and I truly mean that--yeah, even before DH. Unconditional love just can't be beat, can it?

Godiva's suggestion of a memory garden is priceless.

A few years ago, when I lost a very dear friend to breast cancer, I planted a flowering cherry tree for her in my back yard. Now, when I (oh so often) think of her, I go look at (and, yeah, talk to) the tree, and don't feel quite so alone. She was a very--rabid?--animal-lover. One of her very beloved dogs died very shortly before she did. They had the dog cremated. My friend was a very observant Catholic (she almost became a Nun!). She knew her priest wouldn't approve if she asked, so she didn't. My friend was buried with her dog's ashes with her in her casket.

Definitely go with the memory garden if you can. It can hurt way less if you have something concrete, lasting and HERE you can associate with your loved one.

My heart is with you.

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Rufaro @ Mar 12 2007, 06:05 AM) [snapback]404135[/snapback]</div>

You are to be commended for seeking a responsible breeder and staying away from a backyard breeder or Petland (an outlet for puppy mills).

I work with a rescue - the people that allow their pets to go unneutered or buy from disreputable breeders keep rescue organizations very busy....and a lot of pets homeless.

Again, you did the right thing.

 

Funny (as in LOL) thing about that. Our breeders specialized in black show dogs. Our puppy was one of a litter of three from two black champions. The litter was two apricots and a red--for which I will never cease to bless Mendel and genetics...Had the litter turned out as planned, the dogs would have not been made available as pets. (No, he isn't apricot any more--he mostly faded.)

Oh yeah--and we had to sign a contract committing our souls to the devil if we were to mistreat the puppy.

 

We buried our Australian Sheperd in the back yard with her favorite ball and food dish. I put her collar and a great photograph in a shadowbox frame on the wall. We thank her for all her contributions to the family and all that she taught us.

Exactly one year after her passing we obtained two new female (sisters) Australian Sheperds - who are again in the daily process of teaching us much. We think of the previous Aussie and appreciate our present Aussies all the more.

 

I read this thread and now I sit with tears welling in my eyes. I just lost Zoe, my 17 year old cat last June. She was my little soul mate. The only consoling thing about her death is that I made sure she didn't suffer and she was old enough to where I could view her death as a natural extension of her cherished life. Because of this, I felt no guilt, which in my opinion is the most difficult emotion to tackle with a pet's death.

I've grown accustomed to the loss of pets as I've lost 4 cats within the last 3 years. Zoe had a sister who died a year earlier and that was as Zoe's death was....without suffering and she lived a very full life. The other two pets were 3 years old and under. PePe had an enlarged heart and I didn't know this until it was too late. Pia, unbeknowst to me, was not eating and therefore developed fatty liver disease. My vet basically killed her with a botched surgery. Her feeding tube came lose. This was the most horrible experience that I suffered from a pet's death.

Through all of this I became more aware that I'd get through it. I just kept in mind that it's a matter of time dulling the emotions surrounding the loss. However, I've also found that I'm never really completely healed, as my reaction to this thread evidences. Sometimes, I actually appreciate this feeling as it helps me to really remember and feel them again.

I'm sorry for you livelychick. It's very hard to get through it but you will. It usually helps to return to your normal life. Try not to coupe yourself in your house because you're so sad. The more normalcy that returns to your life, the more quickly you'll hopefully begin to reconcile your pet's death.

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(livelychick @ Mar 11 2007, 08:15 AM) [snapback]403722[/snapback]</div>

Here is the place that carved Caesar's memorial stone.

She was wonderful. She even sent me pictures of stones to choose from and then sent me a jpg of the finished stone after it was mailed.

Artistic etching



There are some very nice cat garden statues in concrete and weather resistant resin. You might find something in a local garden center. Since it's for a cat....a little birdbath might be appropriate...or not.

Fluffy Kitten



small garden cat



Copper cat

 

I suggest you get right back in the saddle again by getting another Orange Tabby. Kittens are great and it will take your mind off Ikie.

Wildkow

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(livelychick @ Mar 12 2007, 08:14 PM) [snapback]404517[/snapback]</div>

I can't tell you how many Saturday mornings someone calls inquiring for a kitten or pup, and before I can finish "Yes, but we have..." the phone hangs up. :angry: After a year, pets, are much harder to adopt - they are no longer "cute".

If it's the only cat and you want to get a very hard to adopt, consider cats tested positive for feline AIDS (FIV+) Only 10% come down with it, and they live nearly as long as cats without this condition, esp if they see the vet promptly when they are unwell. It's as treatable as adult-onset diabetis - not as grim as human AIDS. Actually, an FIV+ is probably safe with other cats if it's not a biter (the only effective way to transmitt the virus).

 

I'm really sorry about your loss.

I suggest you look at the Rainbow Bridge website - they were really helpful for me when I lost my baby (the same one I'm using as an avatar).

 

Delta, thanks for the great information concerning FIV infected cats. I had no idea of the almost normal quality of life and span and will keep this in mind if future vacancies arise in our house.

I thought I'd bring up another topic....

A lot of people are concerned and confused what to do with a pet's remains. We had initially buried two pets in our yard in sealed containers. As other passed on, we determined that this wasn't such a good idea but we didn't want to cremate them. We ended finding a pet cemetery close to our house that offers burial grounds. We now have plots for the animals all next to one another and even purchased plots for the cats that still live so they could all be together. They bury the pets in little animal caskets and you're able to put personal affects with the animal. You can put clippings of your hair, pictures, notes, clothing that you wore on the last day as you held your animal....anything that comforts you and provides you with a continual bond to your pet. They do a quick ceremony and reading and you're able to place the dirt on the casket. I know it's probably going to sound goofy to some of you but I figure some of you may appreciate this option and be as goofy as me.....hopefully.....yes? no? anyone? make me feel better like I'm not a nutcase.....hello?

 

To each their own. In California if you want your pet to be buried with you, it must be cremated. Some of our cats are buried in our yard and some are cremated.

My wife told me of a police officer who had a police dog as a partner. When it died (and was cremated) he got a good looking toy stuffed dog which looked like his partner. He then opened the toy up and put the cremains inside. The toy sits on the sofa and was a way to have his partner with him.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Godiva @ Mar 12 2007, 05:49 PM) [snapback]404508[/snapback]</div>

If you go to the Haunted Mansion in Disneyland you pass a pet cemetery. One has a statue like the first one which about 8 small bird statues facing it. It looks very nice.

We have cat statues around our property and put them where our departed friends loved to hang out.

 

What I did with my pets who passes away:

Trixter (cat): Buried in small backyard in California.

Bruno (cat): Buried in large backyard, near woods where he liked to play.

Blanca (large dog): Cremated, spread half her ashes over Wife's grave, other half on Bruno's grave (the two of them loved to play in the woods).

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(livelychick @ Mar 10 2007, 04:15 PM) [snapback]403516[/snapback]</div>

Wow. First off, ignore anyone that minimizes your loss by saying something like "it was just a cat" (yes, people do this). Pets are as much a part of the family as children, and the grief can be just as bad. In fact, one of the worst things about having a pet is that they generally don't outlive us. I'm really sorry for your loss.

My dog Tucker died in February 2002 after being hit by a car... I was a complete wreck for at least a week. A few months later, my cat Squeak died of kidney failure. He was only four, but became depressed after Tucker died (they were very close), and his health suffered. The vet said that he probably had undiagnosed kidney problems, and the shock and grief sent him over the edge. Yes, animals can grieve too.

Eventually, the role of 'family dog' was filled by Jackson ( http://www.dogster.com/dogs/89953 ) . He doesn't really understands why he gets a steak dinner every year on February 21st, but I do. It is my one night a year to do something nice for a dog, just because I can no longer do something nice for Tucker.

Dan

 

IMO the best way to deal with the death, is to get another pet!

 

Im so sorry for your loss! When my cat Freya died i was a complete basketcase. I held her when they put her down and when it was over i collapsed onto the vets floor sobbing. She was only 8 and had bone cancer on her skull. I decided to have her individually creamated and now she is in a little cedar box on my bookshelf with her favorite toy. I move periodically and I will always want her with me, and now she can boss my new cat Loki around. Eventually it will get easier, but you will always have your cat in your heart. as I write this I still get teary eyed thinking about my Freya. One piece of advice--dont rush and get another cat. Be sure you are ready for this. Cats are so different and a lot of people try and "replace" them, only to find out it has a totally different personality. I like they memory garden idea. I may make a little memorial garden myself!