Line by line Limericks or Limerick-Like Poems

Santa, once fat, is now thin
Now there's more chimneys he fits in
He won't get stuck
Or give a f*ck
If you've been bad, it isn't a sin


When faced with a narcoleptic bore

 

When faced with a narcoleptic bore
Staying awake is a chore
He thinks he's enthralling

 

When faced with a dim-witted rube
Hesitate to call him a boob
Name-calling won't work

 

When faced with a dim-witted rube
Hesitate to call him a boob
Name-calling won't work
He'll still stay a jerk
As he began, in the fallopian tube


I've lost so much weight clothes won't fit

 

I've lost so much weight clothes won't fit
I'm so small on the edges of chairs I can sit
My wife says I'm thin

 

I've lost so much weight clothes won't fit
I'm so small, on the edges of chairs I can sit
My wife says I'm thin
I reply with a grin:
"I'm not too thin - you're too fat - get it?"


I once heard of an honest politician

 

I once heard of an honest politician
To change the U.S. was her mission
But her plan went awry

 

I once heard of an honest politician
To change the U.S. was her mission
But her plan went awry
When she got caught in a lie
Denying extraordinary rendition

I went to the mall and I haggled

 

I went to the mall and I haggled
Now I'm feeling a bit bedraggled
Tired and worn out