LTU Airlines

- Cannot be flown without a media player and web browser. Removing these cause the plane either to crash, or the airline to be sued.

 

The Operating Systems Airlines:

UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and ride until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on, and...

Mac Airlines
All the ticket agents, baggage handlers, flight attendants, and pilots look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know.

Windows Air
The terminal is new and spacious, with friendly ticket agents, easy baggage check and boarding. The plane makes a smooth take-off, but after about 10 minutes in the air, it explodes with without warning.

Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Windows XP Air
Just like Windows and Windows NT Air, but you have to give a sample of your DNA and forfeit your right to privacy or credit history before boarding.

Linux Air
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, and the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"