Marital Status of Prius Owners

You HAD to do it didn't you Schmike.... :lol:

 

I have never been married but if I changed my mind and decided to go that route you better believe I would want to live with the person FIRST for a couple years.

I would rather live with someone for awhile to see if all is ok then to just jump into the marriage thing. If you don't marry and things don't work out then it's easier to end it.

But I'm SURE as a police officer you see how bad things can be when a marriage isn't there and things start going bad. That's why ALL my property is ALL under my name and I would never rely on a man for his finances! So if anyones going to get the boot and have the problems it sure wouldn't be ME! Gotta know how to set yourself up the proper way

 

poverty and lack of education are in fact the problems. and sad thing is, they ruin single parents. my single parent felt the need to marry someone who openly abused her child because she didn't have as much money as she would have liked to have for me, but he did. (and incidentally, he never gave her a dime to help me anyway, "not my kid syndrome") if she could have asked me at the time, i would have told her i'd rather live in a mud hut for a lifetime than have dealt with a lifetime of trying to get over that.

many of the opinions i've seen in similar situations seem to say that is a failure of the parent, even though it was with good intentions, indicating the desperation for money that exists among a lot of single parents.

anyway, way OT but i so agree with you, salsawonder. (and please, no mush about how terrible that must have been, etc. i've moved on)

carry on.

 

Well, Carlos, then for all intents and purposes of the poll, I'd say that that means that you're married. But being gay isn't marital status any more than being straight is.

 

Very, very, very, very happily and blissfully married here!!!!!

 

Not to mention a brand new avatar

 

Married to my husband for 2+ years. Have been together for ~5.5 years. I'm 27, he's 30.

Edited to add:

Ok, I see other people posting pictures here after reading the thread from the beginning so I'm gonna have to do it too...

[Broken External Image]:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v432/rancid13/wedding.jpg

 

Yeah, it's like he cheated on his Insight, cut her out of the photo, and slipped in the Prius...

h34r:

 

This has turned out to be a pretty nice reading thread. I don't necessarily agree with everything said that is not stricly on the topic of marital status, such as opinions regarding abscence of alternate statuses, however I'm realy pleased that it hasn't turned into a shouting match. That is a huge plus.

Like Squid, I voted single and looking and I'm not out on dateing web sites looking to line anything up for every weekend of my life.

I met somebody in college a number of years ago who I thought might be perspective marriage material, we did talk about it, but after geting to know her much more deeply I realized that her interest in me felt so much more like she was interested in starting a family (my perception, I'll never know her true feelings), becasue the rest of her family was out having kids and living the rather screwed up typical American middle class life (i.e. get married, immediatly have a bunch of kids, never get to know or enjoy the company of your spouse without the kids, never get to know or raise your kids because you have too many of them running around to establish real positive relationships with them, run up a bunch of debt becasue your careers can't keep up with the needs of the family and eventually die in debt, or living on social security and watching the local government take your social security from you in the form of property taxes). Our personalities were different and I always felt like she was agreeing with me on things that she didn't understand because she thought it made me happy, but whenever we disagreed about something she held tightly it was pretty bad. We rarely argued, but we always seemed to be skirting those issues. That answers why we didn't argue much. Anyway, enough sob story there. Suffice it to say that I came to the conclusion that we were not compatible and I called it off. Back to square one.

I don't believe in living together as a test run for marriage, or for economic or social convenience under any circumstances. I however do not condemn those that are making that choice, but I cannot make that choice for myself, it is not an option. I see part of the challenge of marriage as working throught the minor "living togther" things. The reason people should marry is because they share at least most of the same values and want to go in the same direction in life. Too many folks live together, and nearly everything else works in their situation, but the values and directions of the two that are living together don't work. In that situation, it doesn't matter how long they cohabitate, marriage will never really work out.

Oh well, I keep looking for the right personality and the right attitude and hope they see the same in me.

 

You know, just when I thought living together was the way to go, you go ahead and post this...

...it's true though, knowing someone well enough is really "where it's AT", and that can easily be done without living together... ...all else is secondary...

...never really gave it that much thought...

 

I've been reading this thread but have not jump in. but wow, jeromep, your post strike right in my heart.

i've been with my gf for 4 yrs. I'm 22 and she's 21. We did talk about moving in after she graduate from school and get a job. Eventually, we'll get married. But the thing is we fight alot (not physical). I think the reasons being that we don't think alike and to be honest, our personalities are a bit different. I m having a fight with her this week and have not call each other for couple of days. But after being with her for so long, and not talk to her for a couple of days, I realized I really miss her. And I think we truly love each other. But what troubles me is that we always have fights and I m not sure what's gonna happen when we get married. I don't want to married to someone that I always have fights with, then end up divorcing because I can't put up with it. On the other hand, I really love her and don't really want to end this relationship. I can't handle the fact that she'll be dating (or do other stuff with) another guy after we break up. Really not sure what to do for now... I guess time will tell.

I feel kinda weird to talk about personal life on this car forum... haha.. :huh:
Edit: AND this thread is in the main forum instead of Fred's.

 

I met my husband on the the internet, hehehe, how is that for a romantic adventure?

 

There's good fighting and bad fighting. All fighting is not necessarily bad, you just have to identify what is helping to build the relationship (ie: reach an agreement, see the situation from another person's point of view) and what is tearing you apart. People are not always going to agree on the same things all the time. But if your fights are just rehashing past fights or arguments (ie: fighting about the same thing AGAIN) that may be something to really think about, because what if you never are able to resolve the issue and it continues to plague the relationship? Just something to think about I guess.

DH and I had the same fight over and over back in the 'still dating' phase but we were actually able to work it out after a few months and came to an agreement on the situation, and have not returned to that arguement ever again as it's since been resolved and neither of us regrets the decision we came to. Now when we argue, which is maybe once a month if that, and it tends to be about little things (mostly stuff around the house-taking trash out, cleaning up a mess in a timely manner, etc).

Edited to add:

I tried to add this to my post earlier but the site kept timing out:

We did also see a marriage counselor during our engagement for a couple of months, because there were a few things we had concerns or were worried about. Marriage is a big step, and neither of us wanted to take that step without first being completely sure of what we were doing. It really helped to express each of our concerns in a neutral environment and get suggestions on how to work things out in a healthy manner. I think it really helped us learn to talk things over and also to really listen to one another and gain mutual respect as well.

 

same here. i find the biggest problem is the difference between HIS definition of timely and MY definition... :lol:

i'm willing to deal with that. but the really nasty, really pointless arguments should have you wondering, ScottY.

 

My husband and I were married on Valentines day 2004 (we've been together 5 years) inside City Hall in San Francisco, covered by CNN, NBC, CBS and more... we were quite the celebrities when we returned home to Oregon.

The legal status of our marriage was eventually nullified (not the same as "annulled") by the California courts. By that time, it was too late to get married in Oregon, but we did give testimony at various hearings on the issue in Multnomah County. We still consider ourselves married in terms of commitment and how we attempt to structure our lives, even if the law is not there to help us in the event of an emergency or in retirement.

An earlier comment in this thread asked why the gay community doesn't just accept civil unions or contracts, as though this would be nearly the same or nearly sufficient. It is not. There are literally hundreds of rights and privileges granted to opposite-gender couples via legal marriage that are not available to same-gender couples.

In the very few states that have "civil unions", the laws apply only within those states and do not apply to any federal definition of marriage. "Contracts" vary from state to state, but do not cover very important things such as health care and hospital visitation. Sometimes those can be arranged to through powers of attorney, etc., but good luck getting a hospital to recognize your "contract" in a life-and-death emergency.

We have spent thousands of dollars organizing "contracts", wills, directives, etc., and our work is not yet finished. We have maybe 10 of the 1,000+ rights available to opposite-gender couples automatically and nearly free of charge when they get married. And opposite-gender couples, should they break up (as nearly half eventually do), have a legal structure in place to facilitate the undoing of all those "contracts", while we do not.

We are lucky that we had the financial and legal resources available (just barely) to do the minimal things that we did. Most same-gender couples do not.

If you are in an opposite-gender marriage, ask yourself what it might be like to become "unmarried" every time you crossed state lines, to suddenly lose the ability to visit your partner in the hospital and have your medical decisions overridden by distant family who do not have everyday involvement in your partner's life. Imagine that the ability to care for your child suddenly disappeared when your partner died and that you had no default legal custody rights and that your child gets taken from your home into foster care for no good reason. That's what it is to be a same-gender couple in today's America.

There is absolutely nothing unique to opposite-gender marriage that precludes same-gender marriage. If you want to bring up the ability to reproduce, consider for a moment adoption, children from previous marriages, etc... If reproduction is a barrier to marriage, then why are infertile couples allowed to marry and why are marriages that do not result in children allowed to continue?

Name one thing that is taken away from an existing marriage if same-gender couples are suddenly allowed to marry. One thing. (Other than "exclusivity".)

Three points to the first person to bring up human-animal relations or polygamy. (Hint: Not a valid answer.)

- Bob R.

 

My "domestic partner" and I have been together 15 years.

None of the Above

 

THIS is what might doom me to failure though... I sort of have a problem with coming to an "agreement" and "compromising" (yeah, surprise, surprise, right? lol), and I've heard time and time again, that successfull marriages take a lot of both...

Of course, that sure doesn't mean I'm going to avoid it, and not give it a shot, but boy, it might be tough...

...anyway...

 

Married since July 1972 (33 1/2 years). Two girls and two boys. Girls are married with a boy and girl each. 26 year old son got married in Nov. after living with her for two years. 24 year old son still lives at home. Both girls lived with their husband before marrying. Oldest has been married 9 years now--almost 10.