My little 3 year old kicks the back seat

I kicked the back of my dads seat once when I was a kid.


Once.

 

Lol, my dad kicked my "seat" a lot more than once, back in the day...

SCH-I535

 

I hope the OP doesn't feel like we're ragging on him/her.

 

This country (U.S.) is going down the drain so that will probably be the next law that is enacted here.

 

Who says you have to beat or resort to violence to discipline a child? I've never beat my kids and they never kicked the back of my seat more than once. I was a taxi driver and obviously couldn't even touch a passenger and the children on a school run would never kick my seat either or only did once.

You started the thread about your kids repeatedly kicking your seat and your got a number of responses as is the way of a forum. What did you expect?

I'd love to sit behind you on a flight

 

I'm "old" and have had my a** handed to me when I was a kid and I turned out just fine ROFLMAO. That being said, I never struck my daughter in anger, I just berated her and, at times, walked away. You asked for input and you got it. If you don't like some of the responses, ignore them, but please spare us the soapbox.

 

I never had to do more than swat my kids on the butt with an open hand, and usually just once. Once they understood that we "said what we meant and meant what we said" consistently, the butt swatts were very few and far between. The purpose was to get their attention and it worked well in doing that.

Give me a break with your "old school mentality" and child "beating". You asked for opinions and you got what you asked for.

The problem seems to be pretty obvious to most of us !

 

That worked for us with our two girls and that's probably what most here are suggesting.

stephensprius... certainly no one here has suggested "beating and kicking" your three year old into submission.

FWIW- I've found that it's best not to ask for parenting advise on internet forums.

 

It's interesting that you would mistake the concept of discipline for beating...

I've never spanked my now 28-year-old daughter.
Not ever. Not once.
She had a mother and a grandmother that spanked her sometimes, but these were not "beatings" and my daughter learned very early on that if she messed with her dad then she could expect something swift and unexpected.
Once, when she slammed "her" bedroom door, I removed it from the hinges and threw it out the front door.
...it never happened again.
One other time when she tried the "put the shirt that Mom won't let me wear to school in the purse" trick, I escorted her from class to class for a school day.
I told her that the next time that we had this problem that I would wear a clown suit.
I remember because my dear wife said.... "That child actually thinks that you're serious!"
I looked at my wife and said.... "What makes YOU think that I'm NOT?"

It's not about beating your kid(s.)
It's about RAISING your kid(s)
It's hard, it takes time and energy, and more than a dash of good luck!
If you don't have a spouse or Grandma/Grandpa to help...it's harder but LOTS of single parents are getting it right.

My beautiful baby girl wasn't and isn't perfect.
I had to pull her car out of a ditch when she was 16.
When she was 18 she discovered that since she was an adult, she had the right to leave the house whenever she wanted to. She also discovered that not abiding by our expectations can (and did once!) result in returning to a house that she couldn't get into, containing a VERY empty room that she used to sleep in....and did again once expectations for behavior were explained in detail and met.

My daughter is educated, always employed, and has a family of her own now.
My granddaughter just turned three, and I get to babysit her often.

She's assertive, stubborn, and intelligent......just like her mom, and at three years of age she knows the exact same thing that the OP's three-year-old knows, which is how much she can manipulate her Mom, Dad, and my wife and I.

It's not rocket science.
These days?
Mostly it's about putting down the cell phone, tablet, or remote and raising your kids.
I see "parents" dragging kids through Target at 11:00pm on school nights.
I see toddlers acting out every day in public while "parents" poke their phones and ignore them.
I see "parents" load sugary drinks into "sippy cups" and then wonder why their kiddo acts out.....or requires dental work before they're 6....or are already fighting obesity.

If the OP thinks that the "old school" methods are "disgusting" then he/she didn't go to the same old school that I did.

Me?
I think that some of the "new school" ways are pretty bad too.

"YKMV"

 

Completely agree. The few times I acted out as a kid, swift and just punishment was handed down. Once in the form of a belt whipping. I NEVER did that or anything to result in that again. If the kid knows you aren't going to follow through with false threats, then they are just as meaningless. if you say "stop that or I will _____", bloody do what you said you were to do. If that means no ice-cream for a week, then no ice-cream. When you make grandiose punishments like being grounded and not follow through, it is just going to happen again and again. I am still young enough to remember my highschool days which were around the beginnings of this "slapping is child beating" crap just after the new millennium. I had a couple friends who would stay out super late, generally drinking, and if they got caught which was more often than they would like to admit they were grounded. Usually for a week, or two weeks, or even a month. However, always by the second night, they were not grounded anymore. The parents just completely forgot about it. And what did those 2 days of "grounding" entail? Coming home from school and going to your room where you had a games console, a TV, satellite TV, all your music, a cell phone but no or very limited mobile internet, and it was fine. What sort of punishment was that? No punishment at all, and that's why it was habitual.

I got smacked a few times, but more importantly when my parent said something they meant what they said. I knew when they said if I didn't stop whatever they would something else, they would follow through and if I needed a deterrent, that was it.

 

Where's "Internet Tough Guy" when we need him?

 

My little 3 year old kicks the back seat

Yeah, they do that. Tell them to stop it. Reinforce that request in whatever way works for you and that you can live with.

I recommend these while the kids are young. Even if they aren't kickers, their short legs will put their feet on the back of the seats often enough (and for us, in particular, during winter). These will keep your seat backs clean until their legs are long enough to bend over the edge of the seat bottom and point at the floor instead of straight out.

 

I was afraid of this.

As others have said, it's about raising your kids. Yeah, I got whipped with a belt as a kid, but the principle still holds, whatever punishment you threaten to dole out, you follow through with. Your child is in a battle of will with you. If you cave, the kid learns what works in getting his way every time. Every respected expert on child raising will tell you that a child understands the word, "NO" before they are 2 years old. You have to establish that you are the parent and they are the child. Positive/negative reinforcement as needed for proper and improper behaviors.

If the kid won't behave, its more your fault than the child's.

My nephew was nicknamed "Iron Bottom." You could beat him with a 2x4 and he'd not feel it, so early on other strategies were needed to impose punishment. You find what the kid hates/loves and work with it as a means to punish or reward them.

Sounds like training a dog, but until a child is mature enough to understand reason and accept there are reasons why you will not accept certain behaviors, it's all about reinforcing the desired behaviors and discouraging undesired ones.