plumbing question

One o' them two storey jobs, I see. No thanks, the life of a peon is not for me.

 

I was staying at a *very* remote fishing camp, near Lac Seul, Ontario. This was back when I had some interest in such things like fishing, now you couldn't pay me to do it

Anyway, I thought the mosquitoes humming everywhere was bad enough. Trudged out to the outhouse to perform my morning routine. That morning routine was just started when the nastiest hairiest spider I have ever seen, scurried across my "equipment" then back into the hole.

I screamed, bolted up, and actually did take the door off the outhouse. The other guys I was with came running, to see me standing on top of the outhouse door, my pants still down around my ankles.

At first they laughed and didn't believe me, so one of them got a flashlight and shone it into the hole. The hairy spider made another appearance, and we all just went somewhere in the bush afterwards

I'm fairly certain that part of Canada doesn't have evil, poisonous spiders. But this bugger was large, imagine a mouse with extra legs, way more eyes, etc.

 

The inky dinky spider went up the water spout....

 

THE REDBACK ON THE TOILET SEAT
by Slim Newton

There was a redback on the toilet seat
When I was there last night.
I didn't see him in the dark,
But boy I felt his bite.

I jumped high up into the air
And when I hit the ground,
That crafty redback spider
Wasn't nowhere to be found.

I rushed into the missus,
Told her just where I'd been bit.
She grabbed a cut-throat razor-blade
And I nearly took a fit.

I said, "Just forget what's on your mind
And call a doctor please,
'Cause I got a feeling that your cure
Is worse than the disease."

There was a redback on the toilet seat
When I was there last night.
I didn't see him in the dark,
But boy I felt his bite.

And now I'm here in hospital
A sad and sorry sight,
And I curse the redback spider
On the toilet seat last night.

I can't lie down, I can't sit up
And I don't know what to do,
And all the nurses think it's funny
But that's not my point of view.

I tell you its embarassing,
And that's to say the least,
That I'm too sick to eat a bit
While that spider had a feast.

And when I get back home again
I tell you what I'll do,
I'll make that redback suffer
For the pain I'm going through.

I've had so many needles
That I'm looking like a sieve,
And I promise you that spider
Hasn't very long to live.

There was a redback on the toilet seat
When I was there last night.
I didn't see him in the dark,
But boy I felt his bite.

But now I'm here in hospital
A sad and sorry sight,
And I curse the redback spider
On the toilet seat last night.

 

Makes the porcupine sound downright insignificant.

 

Bought a tear to my eye. Home sick for the old place. Well actually there are redback spiders right here around this house.
He will leave you alone if you leave him alone. If you come to southern Australia don't mess with this bugger!

He will bite you and you will get very sick or die.
It isn't a big spider either, it is about an inch across the legs.
I'm trying to find a picture of one I took a while back.

 

I'm sure the spider was harmless, but I still instinctively place my hands over my "equipment" just thinking about it. I can't even begin to describe the sensation of all those hairy little legs scurrying across ....

 

Yeah, I probably scared it senseless when I screamed, bolted, and tore the door right off the outhouse

Amazing how a spider put fear into a group of big, hairy chested men.

Though our plan to just poop in the bush had pretty serious drawbacks too. Apparently, I am immune to poison ivy, but the others in my group were NOT.

 

Pat, we have a relative of the Redback living in this area. She is called the Northern Widow, which is a northern relative of the Black Widow. They are all part of the same family. I don't care to be bitten by any of them.

On the Northern Widow, the red spot is broken into two smaller spots.

Tom

 

Be careful where you poop

 

And don't wizz on an electric fence.

 

Funny story about that ....

 

That's why they call him "shorty".

Tom

 

Yeah, go ahead, try it for yourself. I will *guarantee* your wife will call you "shorty" afterwards

 

Jay! Are you the kid I talked into going for the insulator on the fence back when we were kids? :heh: :madgrin: :whoo:
Were you on a farm in southern MN about, ummm, OK a lot of years ago?

PS. Boy you should have seen him jump.

 

I was never in MN as a kid, but when I was around 11, a couple of my "friends" dared me to piss on a live electric fence

I swear a lightning bolt went up the equipment .....

 

Jay had a whole head of hair before that event.

Tom

 

No need to swear. A lightning bolt DID go up, then down. Every guy reading this is wincing. Did your "friends" start laughing or start running?

 

Well, now that you mention it, I DID recede very early ....

Hmmm must be a connection

 

Oh, the little bastards .... first they ran away screaming in terror. They probably thought I had electrocuted myself and they didn't want to get blamed for it

When I finally regained normal thinking capability, I put away the "equipment" with shaking hands, and staggered off in the general direction my "friends" had ran to

When they saw me shakily approaching them, they DID laugh at me ... bastards!