Rules of Etiquette

From the Judith Martin's "Miss Manners" advice column in the Washington Post, March 9, 2022:

Miss Manners:
Is it impolite to ask a friend to plug in my hybrid car?

Dear Miss Manners: My car is a plug-in hybrid, which means it runs on electricity for about 20 or 30 miles, then switches to run on gas. Gas is needed on long trips, but since electric driving makes fewer emissions, we try to drive on electricity as many miles as we possibly can.

If I stop to visit a friend at the limit of (or beyond) my electric-only range, what does etiquette say about asking if I can plug in the car for a bit of a charge? It's not like I'm desperate to plug in, because I can always run on gas if the battery is empty, but a charged-up car is better for the planet.

I’m sure no host would mind a guest charging a phone, but charging a car taxes a home’s circuits a bit more. Still, the cost is nominal. In our area, plugging into a standard home outlet costs less than 20 cents an hour. I would gladly offer to reimburse a host for the electricity, but this seems petty.


If there is a criticism lurking behind your question (“How could anyone be so petty as to refuse 20 cents to save the planet?”), Miss Manners appreciates that it was at least partially hidden.

As you propose to ask a favor — the use of their power from someone already entertaining you as a host — let us see if we can get it entirely out of sight: “Would you mind if I plugged in the car while we are here? That sounds scary, I know, but it draws less power than a toaster oven.”

Miss Manners avoids discussing money because it implies that your friend's hospitality is conditional on the cost. As to the toaster oven, she has no idea how much power it draws, so she needs you to find your own accurate example.​

The publication of the reader's question may indicate that the problem is more common than most people realize. And Miss Manner's suggested tactful phrasing may indicate that we are entering The Gilded Age of plug-in hybrids: not only energy efficient but also socially acceptable and appropriately tasteful.