Smoking will cause decline in IQ and thinking ability

"I'm into freedom of speech and freedom of choice. I'm the kind of guy likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder - "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecued ribs with the side order of gravy fries?" I WANT high cholesterol. I wanna eat bacon and butter and BUCKETS of cheese, okay? I want to smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section. I want to run through the streets naked with green Jell-o all over my body reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly might feel the need to, okay, pal? I've SEEN the future. Do you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiener".

 

Anything not good for you is bad, hence, illegal. Alcohol, caffeine, contact sports, meat.

Are you sh**ing me?

John Spartan, you are fined one credit for a violation of the verbal morality statute.

What the Hell is that?

John Spartan, you are fined one credit . . .
Bad language, child play, gasoline, uneducational toys, and anything spicy. Abortion
is also illegal. But, then again so is pregnancy, if you don't have a license.