Tale of a scratch. Opinions please.

I think you did right to hold his feet to fire and be accountable for something that was his fault. Our culture seems to consider avoidance of accountability as a virtue, and is riddled with exemplars at every level of political, corporate and commercial enterprise (the Bush administration made avoidance of accountability its highest and most important science). I commend your persistence in not letting him go, although it's obvious he did not take a lesson from it and will die believing you were the donkey, not him.

I would not have been as patient with him, myself. At some point after his continued balkings and shedding of blame I would have stopped the proceedings, taken down his license and told him he would hear from my insurance company later, and walked away. That would have left him with several days of discomfiture wondering how much it would ultimately cost him.

I think it never occurs to real assholes that that's what they are. People who aren't assholes are the only ones who wonder if they might have been. An donkey by definition is someone thoughtlessly inconsiderate or rude, or deliberately inconsiderate or rude. In the first instance their very thoughtlessness precludes any possibility of reflection, in the second instance they believe they're in the right. In neither instance would they ever consider they were wrong.

That you admit the possibility you might have been wrong yourself puts you on the side of personal accountability. If wrong, you would apologize, and volunteer recompense, financial or otherwise, as appropriate. No donkey would ever do that.

So congratulations, and congratulations for at least getting $20.

 

Would I say you were being a jerk? Yes

Would I say that I am amazed that he didn't really apologize? Yes

Would I say that you probably would have let it go had his inital reaction been something like "Oh crap, sorry about that! The wind blew the door out of my hand. Sorry about your car, I really didn't mean to scratch it. This is so embarrassing!" Yes

If it were Octavia, would you have insisted on getting her phone number? Ohhhhh Yeaaaahhhhh

Daniel, I think most people would be willing to let it go, it happens to all of us and almost never on purpose. Kind of a karma thing. But you have every right to pursue this as you see fit. Does that make you a jerk? No, not really, you made a choice. Your choice was colored by your perceived opinion of the driver, his value system etc. Is it good to broadly paint someone like this? Not really, but it happens to all of us.

Keep the $20 with you though, in case you accidentally bang into someone else's door. And do better than this guy, and apologize profusely. A little humility goes a long way.

 

I would have beat the living crap out of the guy. I've done that sort of thing before when somebody damages my property

 

I am hoping that is just a joke. No mature person would risk a criminal charge for a scratch on a car.

Now, that being said I would not have accepted $20 for a scratch due to someone's actions, regardless of it being an accident. That is why we pay insurance.

This has happened to me in the past and I have given them the choice of paying for the repair or giving me their insurance carrier information and policy number. Scratches around here start at about $500 to repair.

I had a dent on one of my cars from a woman in a big hurry in her MBZ and that dent cost over $900 to remove and repaint the door. The only way they learn to be careful in the future is when you hold them accountable for their actions. Sometimes that is hard to do but that is life.

By the way I am very nice and professional about it. I do not get upset, yell or make comments that I would not want to be held accountable for. I find that calm results in calm - generally.

 

Nope not one bit at all, who knows if he hadn't been such a jerk and given you his address or phone number you might of returned his $20 had the scratch actually rubbed out as easily as he claimed.

 

He was definately in the fault, even though I am sure it was an accident. But that is what insurance is for. You look at a car the wrong way, and you do $500 damage. Settling for $20 was rediculous, and you should have definately gotten the insurance info. But what's done is done.

 

This same sort of thing happened to me a couple of
weeks ago. Lady pulls in next to me with her beater.
WHAM. Her door right into me. Casually says, "sorry."
I check to see if there is any damage, fortunately,
not. But, I'm just like you at that moment...what
should I do?

Well, anyways, I won't pass judgement as to whether
you were a jerk. That's for you to decide for yourself.

I will say that I learned something new today at a
Ford dealer body shop that might help you. I have
always assumed you need to repaint the body
part to fix scratches. The shop manager told me
though that often they can "buff it out." This is
appropriate for where the paint is marred but
there is little or no damage to the underlying
metal. So they buffed out my wife's Ford Windstar
today, and I was just amazed at the result. They
took 10-15 inch, light to medium scratches back to
90-95% of the original look. (These scratches
came from my wife brushing the car against
plastic garbage bins in our garage.)

By the way, they charged me $67 to fix three
scratches of this type. They also gave me an
estimate if I had had them repaint the two worst
scratches: $861. So, your $20 just might cover
your scratch after all.

 

+100000000000

They damage your car, they pay. Make them pay. Insurance or cash - their choice. Be sure to get a license plate (and pictures of the dent and the relative placement of the cars) in case they run - a woman in a huge-nice person SUV left a dent in my other car and just left when I tried to talk to her about it. I had to go to the cops.

 

I'm surprised he resisted forking over $20. Seemed the least he could do. That being said, it's not worth your time to go any further by filing a report over it. Your time is more valuable than fixing a tiny scratch.
Yes ,the guy was an A-hole.

 

Try rubbing compound and elbow grease.

 

A number of years ago my mom was in a similar, but worse, situation. In a parking lot, some old lady rear ended my mom. The law is probably different by state, but according to both the police and the insurance companies, accidents in parking lots don't assign fault to either party - essentially, each party is responsible for fixing their own car. So my mom was just SOL and had to buy a new bumper for her Mercedes. If i remember right, the total cost was less than her deductible (which was set pretty high to avoid involving insurance for little things and jacking up her premiums), but it was still a decent chunk of money.

 

Guy is obviously an ahole. Some people will undoubtedly call you a jerk because you had the balls to admit that your behavior was based on bias and/or spite, but that is misguided, imo.

Upon making an error, his first action is to try and minimize what happened, going so far as to advance an obviously laughable line of supposition. After getting busted, he then attempts obfuscation in order to get out of paying up.

And really, why would anyone expect anything else? We live in a society where this kind of situation plays out every single day on TV. Politicians and corporations make claims, some of which are easily disproved or are based on obviously erroneous reasoning, and when called on it, they change their story and try to rewrite history, rather than admitting they were wrong (or not lying in the first place.. what a novel concept).

 

Make them pay MONEY. That is the only way that goals #1 and #2 will be achieved. You still have a plate number? Letting people get away with this crap just lets these douchebags go on being douchebags.

 

You are absolutely right that he's kicking himself about the $20. I suspect it will grind at him for a lonnnnnnnnnng time. In some ways, that is a more painful burn that if you had gone the insurance route.

I'm starting to wonder if you are an evil genius.....

 

I didn't have time to read all the replies but just HAVE to pipe up in response to your op Daniel.

I think its the SAME GUY that left a big long dent in my car, and the rate bastard did just drive off and not take responsibility.

All else being equal, your story gives me a grim sense of satisfaction, even if just by proxy.